It took me years to understand that my wife actually wanted me to worry for her when she was upset. It is very difficult for a man to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. If we are to feel the positive feelings of love, happiness, trust, and gratitude, we periodically also have to feel anger, sadness, fear, and sorrow. If she washes your socks, turn your socks right side out so she doesn’t have to. The secret of forming a successful relationship is for both partners to win. If I seek to fulfill my own needs at the expense of my partner, we are sure to experience unhappiness, resentment, and conflict. But if she was unhappy or upset, I would feel blamed and then argue or distance myself. As long as she was happy and nice, I loved back. I had always thought of myself as a loving person. He makes it safe for her to express herself. He does not know that on Venus talking about problems is not an invitation to offer a solution. He has no idea that by just listening with empathy and interest he can be supportive. Get the love you deserve and gave your partner the love and support he deserves. John Grayįortunately perfection is not a requirement for creating great relationships John Gray John Grayīecause she is afraid of not being supported, she unknowingly pushes away the support she needs. John GrayĪnything done to excess can become a means to numb the pain of our unresolved past. She is not broken but just needs his love, patience, and understanding. John GrayĪ woman has within herself the ability to spontaneously rise up after she has hit bottom. A man appears most uncaring when he is afraid. Success, achievement, and efficiency are foremost in his life. He compensates for this fear by focusing on increasing his power and competence. ( Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus Quotes ) John GrayĪ man’s deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent. He mistakenly assumes she is telling him about her feelings because she thinks he is somehow responsible or to be blamed. Because he doesn’t understand how we are different, he doesn’t readily relate to her need to talk about all of her feelings. Books starting with numbers in the Title ‘0-9’Ī man commonly feels attacked and blamed by a woman’s feelings, especially when she is upset and talks about problems.
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